Originally Posted July 5. I like writing these random humor posts once in a while. I should do it more often. Also, we tried again with GPS, and that didn’t help either.
So this weekend, my sister and I decided to go find the Barnes & Noble 8 miles from our house. I’ve always known it was there, even visited once, but for some reason never actually drove there myself. Why not? I love bookstores. So we Google Mapped it and went in search of books and coffee and a quiet place for me to write.
An hour and 30 miles later, we gave it up.
See, the only B&N less than an hour from my house is in The Villages. For those who don’t live around here and have never experienced the wonder that is The Villages… basically it’s a cross between a touristy theme park and a beach town without a beach. But it’s a retirement community.
They have special roads for golf carts. This place is hardcore.
So, after following the directions to the letter, yet driving around and around shopping areas, traffic circles, across bridges, and almost heading straight into more than one gated residential area, I made several conclusions about this magical place.
1) Navigating The Villages is worse than navigating downtown Orlando. I have inside jokes with friends about misadventures in O-Town, with or without GPS. But at least once you find I-4, it’s all okay. One way roads aren’t quite as scary as circle roads.
2) The Villages is Hotel California. Once I finally broke free from the actual town and found the main road home, we did a little celebrating in the car. And then here I am, driving along, and I see a billboard cheerfully announcing “The Villages! 3 miles then right!” (And yes, I literally screamed, “This place is freakin’ Hotel California!!!!”)
3) The Zombie Apocalypse will probably begin in The Villages. Actually, Sherri is the one who said this. And if it is, I don’t want to be trapped there when Z-Day cometh.
There is one bright spot to this story… we found a yummy froyo place 3 miles from my house. Too bad it took 30 miles of driving to get there.
Moral of the Story: Take GPS next time.