Or: How to be a (semi-convincing pseudo-) Writer in 10 Easy Steps.

  1. Journal a bit about the rain, and how you want to write. (be sure to complain about television and having no time to write at some point in the entry).
  2. Stop to solve another person’s computer problem, eat cookies, and watch the last ten minutes of a MASH rerun.
  3. Plug in laptop. Plug in noise-canceling headphones. Cue up obscure, artsy music to send you floating into a creative reverie. (Sigur Ros, or some other quirky indie music for example)
  4. Freewrite about nothing for a bit. Make a checklist of things to accomplish. (Edit this essay, write this draft, etc.)
  5. Open essay draft you wrote a month ago. Change two words in the first paragraph.
  6. Pick something from creativewritingprompts.com. Write a page and a half rant about something in the paper that ticked you off, that eventually turns into moody self-examination in the end.
  7. Create blank Word document. Type date and working title at the top. Save.
  8. Surf the internet. Play with Facebook. Get a glass of water.
  9. Stare at the wall for a bit.
  10. Write a tongue-in-cheek blog about your amazingly brilliant and productive creative process and how it can help anyone be a writer just like you. Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Yay!

Well, at least something got written in all of that…

Sigur Ros is really lovely though. Lovely, sweeping, artsy Icelandic ambience.
Just sayin’.